How to survive the hostile gazes about the veil?


How to survive the hostile gazes about the veil?

Dear Sisters,

after many years wearing the veil (and I have experienced so much), I could ask Bear Grylls some survival tips in an interview. It might seem as a joke, but it is not. Sometimes, you feel like you have been thrown in the lion’s den and come out from it psychologically devastated; it happened to me and I would like to share my experience with you.

I was in Alassio, a joyful and very rich Italian city in the Liguria region, a place where I lived my childhood and teenage years. I often go back there to visit my dear friends and the beautiful places.

My daughter was swimming happily with other girls and I had to put up with the heat because she was having fun. I was sitting on the beach with my childhood friend and wearing the veil. I felt secured, since I have spent days and nights with her.

Her husband, who I have known for many years, suddenly came and while laughing with a high voice he said: “Have you seen the way you’ve reduced yourself? You look like Belfagor! (A demon). This was not enough for him, he had to mention even more loudly: “And what do you think you are teaching your daughter?”

I was shocked, maybe because I didn’t expect it, I remained petrified. Thank God, I was wearing very dark sunglasses which were covering up my watery eyes. I felt a lump in my throat. Everybody was looking at me. Panic! My friend tried to minimize her husband’s words, but she didn’t understand how I was profoundly offended and publicly insulted. I wanted to reply, but I looked towards the sea and at my daughter having fun; therefore, only for her I forced myself to smile.

He kept on saying hard things and to blame me, tears were going to flow, but I kept on smiling as a foolish person, with the anguish of not crying in front of them to look like an idiot.

With an excuse, I said: “My parking disk, I risk getting a fine!” and I run from the beach. I remained in the car for half an hour, crying with anger and pour out my feelings.

I calmed down, fixed myself and got back to the beach. Again, I was thinking about my daughter enjoying her bath and that she didn’t deserve to know what happened.

As soon as my friend’s husband saw me, he said: “Come on Cinzia, get changed and let’s all have a bath!”  I remained baffled for a minute and then understood that maybe he didn’t mean to hurt me, he just lacked sensitivity and respect.

But he didn’t win. I went to the changing room and put on a big shirt and pants suitable for bathing and immersed myself in those waters I loved so much.

My daughter was screaming of happiness while seeing me entering in the sea.

At the end, I smiled because of my veil, and my patience. Thanks God I have remained in silence, indeed sometimes people speak just because they have the tongue, but with no real reasons.  Sometimes they are not so bad as they seem to be. So I hade my wonderful bath.

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